I think the last time I posted was around 3 years ago on my 32nd birthday. A global pandemic, life changes, and new love later, I decided I needed to post something!

Let me say that I’ve never apologized for who I am, but I certainly recognize how my actions may affect someone else. I don’t live in a place of regret, but I take on the lessons to provide a better version of me to the people I interact with. This self reflection doesn’t come easy and it certainly isn’t pretty, but its honest.

Let’s talk pandemic

It was the best of times it was the worst of times, but all in all it was a crazy time. I learned a lot about the people in my life and even more about people as a whole. They’re awful but to what extent is seriously astonishing. The sheer volume of people who don’t wash their hands was disgusting, but to complain about it makes me think y’all don’t wash your ass either. Over a million people died and millions more lost their job and never fully recovered.

We collectively decided it was over like there aren’t long running health issues associated and I’m sure more things we will discover later. Before I get on a soapbox and continue this rant, I bring this up to say I stayed my ass at home and it gave me the opportunity to navigate how I spend my time and with who, because lets be honest being told to stay home was hard for a lot of people. There’s a lot of unresolved trauma, dysfunctional coping mechanisms, and hard conversations that spilled over. Thankfully some people sought out therapy and a lot of others tried to drink/party it away. Moving to the other side of the pandemic since the masses were “over it”, people tried to return to normal not realizing how traumatized some people were and how things had to change. Remote work became a new normal for a lot of people and the mass exodus of office life became all too real. Ready to be outside but not chained to an office or stuck in traffic. Here we are finding new life and new normal, while trying to experience joy and pursue life goals.

Trusting the process

I made some big life changes during the pandemic which my sanity thanks me for every time I hit a new milestone/goal of mine. I was blessed and fortunate enough to move from my parents home into a home of my own. Pending future ownership, I currently rent a beautiful townhome with one of my favorite people. An adjustment for both of us for sure, but still a great experience for expanding our journey and navigating new spaces. Dealing with compromise, coordinating shared spaces, and finding a good balance of social interactions.

Having lived on my own before but not having done so in quite some time was an adjustment, but also an upgrade. Who doesn’t love living rent free, but at what cost to your sanity is it worth it? My parents are amazing people, but when your ideals don’t align or your behaviors have to evolve with the nature of your relationship it can be a struggle. My free spirit is not conducive to living with more conservative people. Being able to nurture our relationship was really important to me and I don’t think we could achieve the depth of relationship, if I was still living at home.

I’ve never been a fan of tradition. stereotypes, or gender roles so it never bothered me being in my 30s living at home, but it did bother me that I felt like my relationship with my parents was stuck in a parent/child dynamic when was an adult child living with my parents. Sometimes that evolution in dynamic is hard to come by and I think a lot of people end up having terrible relationships with their folks because they never truly evolved the dynamics whether it be the fault of parents or the children. Developing healthy relationships and strong boundaries takes both parties coming together and wanting better for the relationship.

With that being said I wouldn’t have been able to survive as I have if I didn’t go through the growing pains with my folks, but also being willing to have uncomfortable conversations the nurture evolution. I am who I am as a direct result of who they are and how they prepared me for life.

A new love

As much as I have shared the ups and downs of my romantic life online lol I would be remiss if I didn’t update my internet family on me finding the love of my life. While I have been in love before, none has felt as complete and as full as my boyfriend currently makes me.

You all know I am a long distance relationship believer when it comes to being open to love finding you no matter where you are. I think it’s short sided to believe your soulmate or your person is down the street when the world is so big and there are so many people out there. I won’t get into too many details because as Auntie Tabitha would say, “that’s my business”, I will say that as cliché as it may be I was really done with looing for love when the universe put this man in my path and said you deserve to be loved the way you have loved so many.

The way I light up when someone asks me about my love life, and I can’t wait to gush about how happy he makes me.

The way even when he makes me mad I would still rather work through rough patches with him than allow anyone else the opportunity to speak to me.

He has absolutely grown into my best friend and I hope to spend the rest of my life with him, learning, growing and loving each other.

So for now this is my life update and I plan to share more of my next projects, my next goals, and my next lessons with you all.

As always, don’t forget to love on yourself today, okay <3